It's My Life – A tale of loss, love, addiction and recovery

The Monster in the Wardrobe

On A Steel Horse I Ride

I've made some pretty huge decisions in the last few days. And as is my want I'm not sure any of them are correct. The biggest and most undoable is finally giving notice on the Mausoleum I once called 'the... Continue Reading →

Miss T (Part 2)

As time went on I spent my entire life savings, some £30,000, on trying to get access to my daughter. I even had to take Lucifer to family court to find out the name, sex and birthday of Miss T.... Continue Reading →

Miss T (Part 1)

​It gives me great pleasure, not sure that's quite the right word, to write something not about me, or her, but my beautiful daughter in Melbourne, Australia. We'll call her Miss T.  I say not 'pleasure' purely because she's in... Continue Reading →

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To The One Who Broke Me -

No More Walls

I must be feeling better. It's getting harder to write. How I wish this was not the case. Why must I be damaged to be creative? Why do I need the pain to be my best interlectually? I'm gonna fight... Continue Reading →

Her Ache…

Inner Ramblings Boulevard:


She needs to rest her brain;
Too many thoughts swirl within;
So she lays down
But rest won’t come.

The lonely hotel room
Absent of anything familiar,
Makes her numb, which is perhaps best —
Her agony is unreal.

She’s alone and in need of comfort.
He would always be
Her shoulder to cry on,
But now he is the source of her pain.

Insecurities bombard her now;
She’s terrified!
She doesn’t want to lose him,
But the hurt he caused is unbearable.

Her heart needs answers.
She must know the truth.
She must return to face her fate;
She needs peace.

So she breathes —
Deep, slow breaths,
Hoping to calm herself;
Hoping to ease the pain.

They spoke of forever,
Their shared dreams
And hopes now shattered.
Was it all a lie?

Her ache pierces through her soul
To find a shred of hope.
Is this the end?

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