Excellent piece

Susan Anderson

This happens a lot: The one who is left feeling abandoned has the hardest time moving on – precisely because of the primal pain unleashed by abandonment.

The one who chose to end it has a much easier time moving on.

Sometimes the original reason for the break-up was that your partner left you for someone else. This sends you into the torment of heartbreak and obsession, pining away for someone who is blithely enjoying the ecstasy of new love, completely oblivious to your pain.

But even if the reason for the breakup had nothing to do with a third party, it usually hurts deeply when you learn that your ex has moved on. “Why can he find a relationship and I can’t?”

The gets really dicey when you find out he or she is getting married. “I thought she was commitment-phobic! How come it could work with someone else…

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