It’s not been an easy day. My homeless suicidal friend turned up early with a bottle of wine and fell into the shelving.  Man, how much I don’t need this right now! He fell into the lounge and I finally got him to my bed to sleep it off. I went to   my councillor and he woke shortly afterwards. I’ve fed him and let him use the Net and my phone. It’s the only time he has contact with anyone but that would require him to talk..it’s honestly touch and go he will make it. His mind has gone. He’s in a battle for his very survival and he has no idea or care.

A stream of calls later he’s either going to be sectioned tomorrow or his Guardian Angel will fly him out to join her in Majorca. I know which I’d prefer. She thinks he not drinking but he is. I told her openly in front of him she was going to be taking on a huge weight again.

He should think about how many people care about him before before he gets all Kurt Cobain about it. I should be so lucky.

Her and I both suffer from that great human weakness called compassion. I can’t let him live here, that would be suicide, but neither can I turn him away totally either.  How can I do that if I have the power to help him knowing he can’t help himself? I know he poses great risk to me. And I’ve not exactly been in control. These are tests I will face daily when anyone wants to meet in a pub from now on. Where else do people meet?! Oh yeah, the Internet and then the Pub! 

But he stops me focussing on myself, makes me try to be sensible for him, for what it’s worth. He also reminds me of (x100) of how I behaved with NG and how far you can ultimately fall. I think he’s here for lots of reasons. I’ll drive him back to his hostel in a bit. People are taking responsibility as he has made them do with his utter hopelessness. He has peeked right up.

I’d think he was ‘At it’ if I didn’t know the hardship he endures daily. 

Ps. It cold and dark and wet. He will be Ok on the sofa for 1 night.. 

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