I’ve written some horrible things to NG. I can be a total prick at times like everyone else. But I vent big time. I vent instead of dealing with it. All this while she is dealing with me being a knobhead and her having Cancer. I’m glad she has help and the love and support of someone in the same boat. I would imagine it would form a strong bond very quickly. Strong enough to use a selfie of her and her new man having fun as a chat profile photo open for me to see within 3 months. And the world. She wanted to tell the world she had left me. I think they probably met at a support group. I think that’s really sweet. I mean that. 

I’ve been very selfish. I’ve imploded. I’ve not handled Being Alone and emotionally isolated. I’ve allowed myself to spiral. I always knew this would happen when she finally gave up on me. But I wish I could take that stuff back. I behaved like the child I have regressed to. I hope she’s not suffering. I hope it’s a really easily curable kind. I wish I just knew that. I need to know she’s going to make it.

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