I’ve finished reading my blog. It made me sad. I have fallen so far and have such a big climb back. I hadn’t realised if I’m honest with you. I knew things were bad but the stuff written here previously sounds like it was by a different guy entirely. It also shows me that I’m cycling and have possibly learned nothing since I went through all this before . I want to start writing but I have a big day tomorrow with an interview that could go a long way to helping me out of this shit. I need to somehow get prepared for that when I’ve not even managed to get to the shops for a week. It’s a tough ask. I don’t get up until 3 most days and the interview is a 2. My motivation is at an all time low but I’ve got to start fighting the Monster. I’ve got to start fighting back. I need my 6th sense ‘winging it’ intelligence to kick in. If I don’t stop this amazing level of self-harm I fear I will not be around much longer
A man trying hard to cope, understand and learn from the past, and mostly failing. But he fights on. Now travelling South East Asia, with no destination or timeframe, he's looking for his path to contentment.